Build Relations: Hijaab does not mean to Break Relations
Generally it has been observed that some people are breaking relationships due wearing Hijaab. If every one thinks negatively, then life will become miserable. In reality they need to do research from the Quraan, to find out what Allah really means about Hijaab. There is a limit for everything and we need to find the right way to have Hijaab. Let us study a few sample cases.
Case-1: Suppose you are the only brother of your only sister, who has one teenaged daughter, is very poor, and due to some reason her husband either passed away or separated. Where should she go other than come to live with you, since you are the only Mahram and she cannot afford to pay rents etc.? What if you have also a teenaged son? Will you send away your only son, or want him to live with you and have a good education, since now a days, it is extremely hard to find jobs that require manual labour. Those type of jobs are done with machines these days. So your son needs to go for professional education. In brief everyone needs to live in one house, because it is too expensive to have more than one. You will be stuck if you are narrow minded.
Case-2: Suppose you are very sick and need urgent help to save your life and you have teenaged daughter. How can your teenaged nephew help you? You will be stuck if you are narrow minded.
Case-3: Suppose your cousin-sister has only one relative, which is you, who is middle-aged, and due to some reason your cousin-sister' s husband either passed away or separated. She has no children, does not want to marry again, cannot afford to pay rents, etc. Where should she go? Where will she feel safe other than with you, since you are the only closest relative (cousin)? You will be stuck if you are narrow minded.
Quraan answers all these issues and frees you from all negative thinking. Teach your kids to behave like brothers or sisters among their cousins. There is NO place for talks of love affairs or negative thinking in Islaam, although it allows marriages among cousins, such negative thinking is not tolerated. Religious Talks, Family Talks, Educational Talks are always allowed among cousins as well. Let use do a detailed analysis on these issues.
And (as for) the believing men and the believing women, they are guardians of each other; they enjoin good and forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, and obey Allah and His Messenger; (as for) these, Allah will show mercy to them; surely Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_009: 071)
Quraan tells us there is ZERO Tolerance for negative thinking and it comes into boundary limits:
Say: "Come, I will recite unto you what Allah has (really) prohibited you from": Join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents; kill not your children for (fear of) poverty;- We provide sustenance for you and for them;- come not near to shameful deeds(acts). Whether open or secret; take not life, which Allah hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: this He has command you, that you may learn wisdom. (Al_Quraan_006: 151)
Nor come near to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils). (Al_Quraan_017: 032)
But he who seeks to go beyond this (legal wife or captives from war), these it is that go beyond the limits. (Al_Quraan_017: 032)
Quraan tells us to lower our gaze:
"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty......And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms...." (Al_Quraan_024: 030-031)
Quraan is the only Holy Book which suggests you to Marry only one:
And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) ONLY ONE or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.(Al_Quraan_004: 003)
Quraan tells us to Bequest in favour of your wives of maintenance for a year (minimum) unless they themselves go away:
And those of you who die and leave wives behind, (make) a bequest in favor of their wives of maintenance for a year (minimum) without turning (them) out, then if they themselves go away, there is no blame on you for what they do of lawful deeds by themselves, and Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_002: 240)
Quraan tells us that Momin and Mominah are Protecting Friends of each other:
And (as for) the believing men and the believing women, they are guardians of each other; they enjoin good and forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, and obey Allah and His Messenger; (as for) these, Allah will show mercy to them; surely Allah is Mighty, Wise. (Al_Quraan_009: 071)
Are our cousins worse than our slaves (war captives)? We are commanded to help righteous slaves financially and help them to get married as well:
And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. And let those who do not find the means to marry keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace. And (as for) those who ask for a writing from among those whom your right hands possess, give them the writing if you know any good in them, and give them of the wealth of Allah which He has given you; and do not compel your slave girls (war captives) for sex, when they desire to keep chaste, in order to seek the frail good of this world's life; and whoever compels them, then surely after their compulsion Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (Al_Quraan_024. 032-033)
Are our cousins worse than our slaves (war captives)? Do not turn your home into a torture cell for your cousins:
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves (war captives) whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. (Al_Quraan_024. 030-031)
Nephews and nieces are allowed to come at our home:
There is no blame on the blind man, nor is there blame on the lame, nor is there blame on the sick, nor on yourselves that you eat fromyour houses, or your fathers' houses or your mothers' houses, or your brothers' houses, or your sisters' houses, or your paternal uncles' houses, or your paternal aunts' houses, or your maternal uncles' houses, or your maternal aunts' houses, or what you possess the keys of, or your friends' (houses). It is no sin in you that you eat together (including JOINT-FAMILY- SYSTEM which may help saving lots of expenditures) or separately. So when you enter houses, greet your people with a salutation from Allah, blessed (and) goodly; thus does Allah make clear to you the communications that you may understand. (Al_Quraan_024: 061)
Hijaab of the sound of Jewelry:
And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful. (Al_Quraan_024. 031)
Hijaab of the sound of Voice:
O wives of the Prophet! you are not like any other of the women; If you will be on your guard, then be not soft in (your) speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease yearn; and speak a good word.(Al_Quraan_033. 032)
Hijaab of the Eyes:
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. (Al_Quraan_024. 030-031)
Hijaab of Body to put outer garments when going out:
O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their body (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.(Al_Quraan_033. 059)
Relatives and Friends need each other:
O ye who believe! let those whom your right hands possess, and the (children) among you who have not come of age ask your permission (before they come to your presence), on three occasions: before morning prayer; the while ye doff your clothes for the noonday heat; and after the late-night prayer: these are your three times of undress: outside those times it is not wrong for you or for them to move about attending to each other: Thus does Allah make clear the Signs to you: for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom. And when the children among you have attained to puberty, let them seek permission as those before them sought permission; thus does Allah make clear to you His communications, and Allah is knowing, Wise. And (as for) women advanced in years who do not hope for a marriage, it is no sin for them if they put off their clothes without displaying their ornaments; and if they restrain themselves it is better for them; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing.(Al_Quraan_024. 058-060)
There is no blame on the blind man, nor is there blame on the lame, nor is there blame on the sick, nor on yourselves that you eat fromyour houses, or your fathers' houses or your mothers' houses, or your brothers' houses, or your sisters' houses, or your paternal uncles' houses, or your paternal aunts' houses, or your maternal uncles' houses, or your maternal aunts' houses, or what you possess the keys of, or your friends' (houses). It is no sin in you that you eat together (including JOINT-FAMILY- SYSTEM which may help saving lots of expenditure) or separately. So when you enter houses, greet your people with a salutation from Allah, blessed (and) goodly; thus does Allah make clear to you the communications that you may understand. (Al_Quraan_024: 061)
Remember: Build your Sweet Home to not only smell good but also taste sweet as well, which can only be done through positive attitudes. A father would never like to see his sons living separately in his life, and prefer to live in a joint-family- system along with his grand children, if all can afford with positive attitudes. A JOINT-FAMILY- SYSTEM may help save lots of expenditures, if you all have positive attitudes. Wish you all the best. AMEEN.
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